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Total dating success |
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Dating resources |
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The 15 Commandments Of Dating
By Phillip Gordon
And one day, the dating god said, "Thou shalt not give up thy
video games. Nor shalt thou trust her friends, for they will
always be loyal to her." And he gave the AskMen crew three stone
tablets, each with five divine commandments that they were
entrusted to pass on to their fellow man. And being the clumsy
slobs that they are, they put them in the spare room, and went
to watch football and drink beer... well no one's perfect. So,
that said, I managed to retrieve the 15 golden rules that, if
applied to your romantic relationships, will optimize your
quality time with her and help you maintain a healthy love
balance.
1- Thou shalt not say "I love you"
When it comes down to it, this is your real ace in the hole.
There is virtually no jam that these three words cannot get you
out of if used correctly. Plus, don't be the first to say it
unless it's absolutely necessary, this way you can save the
phrase until the time is right.
2- Thou shalt not pay for everything
Let her treat every once in a while (she should volunteer to),
save a few bucks, and then you can do something special. But
keep in mind that it is customary to pay if you were the one who
asked her out.
3- Thou shalt leave the past behind
Don't spend too much time talking about ex-girlfriends. And, if
you decide to take her back to your place, make sure to get rid
of any incriminating evidence. For example, don't just throw out
those Polaroids you took; burn them and feed the ashes to your
neighbor's dog.
4- Thou shalt keep relationship George and independent George
separate
If Seinfeld taught us anything, it's that bad things happen when
social worlds collide. You don't want to ruin any of your
current relationships by trying to intermingle the two; it can't
lead to anything good.
5- Thou shalt wear the pants in the relationship
Don't lose the control that you struggled so hard to achieve.
Come out of the gate strong and stay that way. Once you let her
have the reigns, believe you me, it's all downhill...
6- Thou shalt watch her eating habits
Keep an eye on her portions when eating out and turn away the
dessert cart when she goes to the bathroom. If you can keep her
from gaining those unwanted pounds, then you won't have to buy
her a treadmill for her birthday.
7- Thou shalt seek sex at every possible opportunity
"They" say that we think about it every six seconds. So if it's
always on our minds, we might as well act on it. Plus, if you
get her used to it early on in the relationship, then she might
not complain about your insatiable appetite later.
8- Thou shalt sign a prenuptial agreement
Get financial and other issues out of the way before you tie the
knot and set your mind at ease beforehand. So if she decides to
get wild with the postman, you don't have to worry.
9- Thou shalt not treat her like your mother
Don't get the women in your life confused. Your mom made you
breakfast and washed your unmentionables. Your woman is there
for emotional support and sweet lovemaking.
10- Thou shalt not ditch your friends
Your buddies were around before she came into your life and you
wouldn't be too happy if they deserted you for a skirt. Plus,
who is going to take you to the strip club to cheer you up if
she breaks your heart?
11- Thou shalt not change who you are
If she wasn't happy with who you were when you met, then she
should have split then. Plus, no matter how much of a pig you
are, there's always someone who will be into you.
12- Thou shalt not try to change her
Same applies to you. If there are things about her that you know
will get on your nerves in a short while, get rid of her and
find someone you can be happy with.
13- Thou shalt not flirt with other women in front of her
As a general rule of thumb, before you flirt with another woman,
make sure you are in another area code. And, if you do talk
about other women, make sure they "don't compare to you, honey."
There are some lies women simply thrive on.
14- Thou shalt not speak of money
She doesn't need to know what your pay stub looks like until you
are good and ready. Keeping your finances under wraps will help
you figure out if she's a gold digger. This way you'll figure
out if she actually likes you.
15- Thou shalt not kiss too much butt
Stay strong but let her know you love her in subtle ways.
Compliment her every once in a while and make the occasional
compromise, but don't turn into a sniveling worm. Keep your
priorities balanced and all will be well.
keep it simple, romeo
Referring to these simple tips will help make your relationship
easier than you ever imagined. Remember not to take things too
far though. It's good to use tips to keep yourself out of
trouble, but you have to be willing to adapt yourself and these
commandments to any given situation as needed.
Use them as a template when mapping the direction of your love
life and above all else, be (for the most part) honest with her.
Because although taking dating advice makes things easier, if
you don't add a little excitement to the mix, life will just get
boring. |
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