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Guard your anonymity:
All correspondence between
FriendFinder.com members takes place through our
double-blind system, ensuring your true identity is protected
until you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name,
email address, home address, phone number, place of work or any
other identifying information in your free member profile or
initial messages. When corresponding with another
FriendFinder.com member,
turn off your email signature file. Stop communicating with
anyone who pressures you for personal information or attempts in
any way to trick you into revealing it.
Exercise caution and common sense:
Careful, thoughtful decisions generally yield better dating
results. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy; suitors must
earn your trust gradually, through consistently honourable,
forthright behavior. Take all the time you need to test for a
trustworthy person and pay careful attention along the way. If
you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably is, so act
accordingly.
Be responsible about romance,
and don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become
prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only
occurs online. If you mutually decide to cross the point of no
return, be smart and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention provide some of the most current
information available about sexually transmitted diseases and
preserving your health.
Request a photo:
A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance,
which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact,
it’s best to view several images of someone in various settings:
casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you hear are excuses
about why you can't see a photo, consider that he or she has
something to hide. Since
FriendFinder.com offers free scanning services to its
members, there’s no reason someone shouldn’t be able to provide
you a photo.
Chat on the phone:
A phone call can reveal much about a person’s communication and
social skills.
Consider your security and do not reveal your personal phone
number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or use
local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone number
from appearing in Caller ID. Only furnish your phone number when
you feel completely comfortable.
Meet when YOU are ready:
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can
collect information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue
the relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated
to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And
even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the
right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to
keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch
that you can’t logically explain.
Watch for red flags:
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or
attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a
passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red
flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the
following behavior without providing an acceptable explanation:
-
Provides
inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance,
marital status, profession, employment, etc.
-
Refuses to
speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online
intimacy.
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Fails to
provide direct answers to direct questions.
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Appears
significantly different in person from his or her online
persona.
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Never
introduces you to friends, professional associates or family
members.
Meet in a safe place:
When you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where you
are going and when you will return. Leave your date’s name and
telephone number with your friend.
Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home.
Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a
time with many people around, and when the date is over, leave
on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a
time when a lot of other people will be present, is often a fine
choice. If you decide to move to another location, take your own
car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting
together and say goodbye.
Take extra caution outside your area:
If you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own car
and hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never
allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at
the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date
from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed
to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to
your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location or leave a
message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family
member knows your plans and has your contact information. And if
possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
Get yourself out of a jam:
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way
afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the
situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to
call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help
or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in
danger, call the police; it’s always better to be safe than
sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior; your
safety is much more important than one person’s opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft on
the Web, you’ll also find them in nightclubs and offline dating
services, cocktail parties or even sitting across from you at
your local café. Regardless of where you meet someone, dating is
never a risk-free activity, but a little caution will reduce
your risk. This article as been bought to Mens-Network in
association with
FriendFinder.com |
